new theme. hope you like it.

I just finished watching Guilty Crown because of this cover and I’m left speechless. I don’t think I’ve ever cried over an anime so much in my life. I don’t care how anyone degrades it in my mind is has to be one of the best animes I’ve seen because through everything, absolutely everything Shu didn’t give up on his hope on saving Inori. Love stories have been rehashed and recreated since stories have been told. I’ve actually been feeling apathetic towards everything that had a couple in it (except yaoi for..uh..purposes) and have been becoming sick of everything involving love. Even the season 2 finale of MLP wasn’t exactly that respark of what I used to have when I saw a love story as amazing as it was.

I wasn’t even crying at the ending. I had started crying about halfway through because of all the scenes that were happening. All the sacrifices Shu was making for everyone. Souta’s and Shu’s make-up (even though it wasn’t in the last episode) and everyone’s determination to back Shu up in his chase for Inori. It was just so heart-warming and to save the world. Then when Shu was about to give up but at the last second saw the flower Inori left and…then the part that choked me the most through out anything was when Shu absorbed the world’s cancer. I just…I could hardly see what was going because of how much I was crying because through all the lies and deceit he received from his friend he still cared and he was still determined to save them.

Then the saddest moment of all when Inori gave her life for Shu (?). It made me so heartbroken that she wouldn’t be able to live out her life with him. Then I continued crying at the end when they were all meeting and then Funnell’s adorable little robot babies. Just. Agh. I can’t….stop crying. ;~;

And then the music. The music is so wonderful. I have to give props to supercell and the other composer(s). The lyrics written for the songs are just so wonderful and only enhance my feelings towards the anime, especially Euterpe and My Dearest. All the songs supercell has done for this anime is making me take another look at them and is making me appreciate their work more. I mean, their song ‘Love is War’ got me into VOCALOID so I should be in debt to them, right?

Ahh, if I could just meet the creator of Guilty Crown and supercell to tell them how grateful I am. ;~;

Hey, I’m just here to blow off steam. I’ve been meaning to update with rants but I’m lazy.

Right now I’m feeling really frustrated and I just want to blow off this steam. So, I started my period. My back is hurting like shit and I shouldn’t be hunched over like I am but I am. It’s gotten better since yesterday though. So, as always, I’m running low on pads so I asked my mom if I could drive to the store, I wanted to practice driving as well as get pads. She said she wanted to wait a little bit because of her headache. I was ok with it. I understand headaches since I tend to get migraines.

An hour or so passes and I go downstairs to ask again. She’s painting the frame of a mirror. I just kinda hover over her for a bit, feeling nervous and kicking myself mentally over it because I’m trying to get over being that way when I’m asking her something. I hate asking her something twice. This was something I needed though, not just some random bag of candy I had decided to crave and my period wasn’t going to stop just because I ran out of pad. I suck in my breath and make my voice low and ask her when we can go.

Then here it comes.

It wasn’t the words that I was scared of hearing. It was her tone. She always becomes irritated when I ask her a second question. It’s like I’m a pest. She’s tells me she doesn’t know and I just walk away and I planned to walk to the store an hour later. I did.

It was getting windy and the clouds were dark so I took a jacket. I lost that jacket. It makes me mad but I didn’t really care. It’s summer and I was too exhausted by the time I realized it to try and go find it.

I’m also a little frustrated about Driver’s Ed because my parents won’t let me drive because they’re too busy doing shit. It’s like they expect me to learn how to drive in Driver’s Ed, which is complete bull because the class is half full of shit.

I am just feeling emotionally drained right now, most likely because of period shit. I really just want to get this week over with.

I know I’m on vacation but I had this dream last night and I enjoyed it so much that I had to write it down.

The dream started out with me and a guy named Kieramache (something similar. The name is closely similar to a YouTuber I follow. I thought that was strange.) wondering through the woods. We had to escape from something, though I can’t remember what if I even knew. We had to find a place to hide out. We eventually found this house that looked abandoned but it actually wasn’t. An old lady was sitting out front in a rocking chair and when she noticed us she cursed at us for thinking otherwise. She was generous enough to let us inside though. The look on the outside didn’t lie, the place was a mess.

When I first stepped in I met this little girl hovering at the front door. I felt like she was somehow connected to my past and that I had to help protect her. I eventually learned that something was after her as well, a wolf-like creature that roamed the forest, but the old lady that was looking after the child had created some kind of shield with the house so it couldn’t get in.

I actually was able to see what the creature looked like. It was a large-muscled man that crawled around on all fours with red-eyes and sharp teeth. I knew that wasn’t its true form but it was the form it could only take when it was closest to the house. I had ended up in a back room of the house with the little girl because she was scared even though she was safe. I was eventually able to calm her down after several games we played and a few hours later I learned that Kieramache had went after the creature that was after the girl.

I believe at this point I came to realize (not in the dream) that he was some sort of tracker. It switched over to him and it showed him running across a wide, flat terrain with this almost goofy grin on his face. Maybe it was to prove to himself that he wasn’t scared but I felt he was. Then this song started playing and for the life of me I can’t remember it but it was a good song so I wish I did. It felt an ending to an anime but it also felt like he was singing it as well. It was a strong song but it was also an emotional one too.

Then it switched back to me outside of the stream sitting at a computer but I was still in the abandoned house. I then got a phone call and the contact was Kieramache. I guess he had pestered me enough to where I bothered to save his number because I found him interesting enough. I answered it and it somehow transferred over to a Skype call and he started singing the song. I did too because I liked it but I haven’t learned it yet so I was off a bit.

So, that’s how the dream ended. The title for it is a prototype. It might change.

nebulasresolution:

Tomorrow will be the beginning of my vacation. I will most likely not be back until late Saturday or Sunday so I will not post until then.

Hope you don’t miss me too much! Haha. :)

This was about 2-3 days ago but reblogging so everyone knows why I’m not around.

I was going to make a post a few days ago but I’ve been lazy. It seems that things are getting a bit hectic so now I definitely want to post to let my frustrations out.

The first thing I would like to talk about is my parents. They’ve divorced and are both remarried. Lately, I’ve noticed my mom and my step-dad are having issues. It feels like it has cooled down a bit though. I planned to go to my dad’s for a few weeks since I haven’t spent time with him and I need to because of his health. I also thought that it would be nice to get away from my mom’s house to leave the atmosphere but it seems I’ve just walked into a similar situation.

Today when I was contemplating on taking a shower I heard my step-mom explode. I, at first, thought it was her yelling at my oldest little sister since she has quite the attitude but as time I wondered if she was even home. It didn’t feel like that was the one she was yelling at anyways. I waited it out a few minutes and walked out with clothes to shower. My step-mom was sitting in the hallway and she was grumbling about my dad. Something about cursing and him sitting in the truck or something. So I assumed they had a fight and my dad was contemplating leaving for a bit or something like that.

When I got in the shower I turned on the fan to drown out the noise because I honestly didn’t want to get involved with it. I felt like if I did my step-mom would say something harsh to me and I don’t want to deal with anything like that before we go on vacation. I feel like the vacation is going to be a bad idea. We’re all going to be crowded together and if something happens it’s going to be obvious and in enclosed spaces it could possibly get worse. I’m starting to feel really tired now, thinking about all this, and I still have more I wish to talk about.

I guess, for the moment, I’ll stop with just this subject because it sucks that instead of having one couple fight, you have two…

Title: 迷子のエコー (Echo of a Lost Child)
Arranger: Shibayan
Lyrics: 深水チエ (Chie Fukami)
Vocals: 3L
Album: TOHO BOSSA NOVA
Circle: ShibayanRecords
Release date: May, 27th 2012 (Reitaisai 9)
Website: http://homepage3.nifty.com/shibayan/stal1201/

Original: ハルトマンの妖怪少女 ／ Hartmann’s Youkai Girl
「東方地霊殿 ～ Subterranean Animism, Koishi Komeiji’s theme」

Picture artist: kirero
http://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=20342215

———-

This album is really good and I’ve listened to this song so much. Goodness. <3 

I didn’t realize I would actually gain followers, haha. ;;

Well, since I’ve been so absent I’ll do a recap of the things I’ve done for the best few days while I watch America’s Got Talent. uvu

Ok, so last week I had two events, a pool party and a birthday party.

The pool party was super fun for me and I actually shaved for it, haha. Though not all of my legs but most. When everyone got there we threw balls at each for a good hour or so. I was screaming my head off. There one thing you wouldn’t guess about me and that is for me to be a screamer but I can be if I’m doing something crazy like throwing balls at each other. I get caught up in the excitement and I just can’t stop myself! During the throwing fest my friends complimented me because apparently I was catching the balls real well and they said I should play sports. It made me feel good.

Later on after had food, my friends and I fought over this raft for no reason. It was a boys vs. girls kind of fight. Once more, I continued my yelling spree and even though the boys kept winning it was so much fun to do. I was exhausted though when I got home so I pretty much went straight to sleep.

The next part, the sleep over. It was a mixtures of feelings but I would like to say that over all I had fun. We played this trivia game that I pretty much sucked at because it was things like hot celebrities or characters from shows. I don’t know shit about anything like that and I didn’t really care but my friends made me become irritated about it. They were like, “Come on, you must know at least one thing.” No, I don’t. I don’t watch movies, shows, or read a whole lot. I’m a music person. Not American music but foreign music. Why should I know much about things outside of my interests ?

We ended up staying up until four talking and during the talk we created our genderbent self. If some of you don’t know, my name is Brittany. So, I became Bret, the super nerd who’s not afraid to show it. I wear graphic tees and khakis and I’m also obsessed with shoes. I thought that was fun.

Also, I had a friend come over to spend the night since I am getting my wisdom teeth taken out tomorrow and I’m most likely going to my dad’s afterwards. I’m really nervous. ;; I hope I’m not in too much pain but I have a feeling I will be.

Also, my dad was being a wee bit of an annoyance in concerning all this. First of all, he said he was going to come. I don’t understand his need to. My mom is going to be there. Then he also asked if I wanted to go to his house for my recovery. No. No. Just no. It made me so irritated. Why would I want to be driven almost two hours after my surgery to rest? I’d rather just stay at my mom’s.

One last day before I’m finished…my ex-boyfriend is still bugging me. It’s not him, it’s just I’m still thinking about things. He started being really affectionate to me and it made me really uncomfortable. I ended up having to tell him to please stop being that way (Note: he was calling me ‘my love’ and saying I’m cute and that I’m an amazing person). It just got waaay past my comfort zone because I’m still thinking everything over. I’m still unsure and I still feel really bad about everything that something like that…it just makes me want to cry. 

Oh, jeez, I’ve made myself cry now. ;; I was contemplating on whether to even talk about it because I’m tired of crying about it. I honestly just want to be over this already. ;;

Well, good night everyone, wish me luck with my wisdom teeth surgery.

Hello, it’s been a while since I posted here but I had these really weird dreams and I wanted to write it down. Yes, it is related to the title as well. I can’t remember much but I’ll try to go in order.

The first thing I remember is being at a beach, the stars, a boat, and an old Asian man. I felt like something was off, like I wasn’t supposed to be there. I felt like it was forbidden for me to be there but the man helped me anyways. I soon was able to mix in with the populace and become a student somehow. I was soon figured out by some faculty of the school but the thing is, no one else became disgusted with me or hated me after it came out that I wasn’t natively from there, where ever I was, only the faculty member was.

Despite the lack of hatred it seems that I was going to be sent away. The last thing I remember was sitting next to a little girl eating meat and veggies out little round, metal containers, a boy sitting across from her, and then a slightly older boy sitting next to the other boy. The older boy seemed to be pouting. Then the caretaker(because he seemed too old to be a dad)/dad came in, who was a super blonde superstar, and scooped him up, which made him a bit happier.

That’s end of that dream.

———

Here’s the beginning of my other dream.

I was at an apartment complex with my brother. I believe we were moving things around when suddenly these guys show up and start messing with him. Then this machine appeared and started taking our equipment (construction stuff for whatever reason). I felt like I tried to interject and that I might have gotten hurt somehow ?? Anyways, once I interjected I knew I needed to get to my phone that I had dropped somewhere to call the police, however much help that might provide. So I was running, and I nearly didn’t make it because the people messing with us had a car and they were driving towards my phone but I got it! I called the police and that was the end. uvu

This is something I’ve kinda been thinking about and I’ve seen discussions about it on tumblr a lot.

Gender

That’s what it is. Why am I calling this a rant post? Well, I’m not quite sure if it’ll become one but gender makes me pretty frustrated. Especially when it comes to the idea of which gender someone is. My general line of thought is that if they choose to dress in the typical way a certain gender does that they’ll be called using pronouns of that said gender, no matter how they act, I guess.

But then I saw this one post on tumblr that just blew that out of the water. This guy took a picture of himself in a skirt, tank-top and bra and the post continued to say that even if they dress as the stereotypical girl they shouldn’t be classified as a girl unless they say otherwise. It makes me feel really confused.

How am I suppose to address someone if the idea of gender doesn’t identify with body parts, dress styles, and mannerisms? Am I going to get yelled if I call someone who I believe to be a male but in their mind identifies as female? If this idea of gender where we no longer have to go by mannerisms/looks then how are we suppose to address people? Will we learn to read minds?

How do I address people?

:?