Nuts & Bolts

Parents

Fri, 07 Dec 2012 23:14:07 -0500

Sometimes I think about my relationship with my parents. My dad gets pissy about my mom not being home most of the time. He’s home all the time but he can’t do anything. What’s the difference?

My dad has an excuse though. An annoying excuse but an unchangeable one.

Maybe I’m just trying to rationalize my relationship with them since I feel like I’m so spoiled that I HAVE to have something wrong with me so I don’t feel like such a sheltered person whenever I talk to certain friends.

Thinking about it, my relationship with my parents isn’t that normal besides the fact that I never do anything with them, I guess.

Replay

Thu, 06 Dec 2012 00:33:41 -0500

Well, it happened again. My friend got mad at me again. My friend won’t respond to my texts again. It just keeps getting worse and worse but I don’t want to lose him. I don’t want to lose a friend.

It looks like it’ll just be another night of crying, not sleeping, and listening to ‘Good Morning Emma Sympson’ to remind myself every five seconds just how bad of a person I am.

Issues and more issues. My stomach is feeling queazy.

More Rambles

Tue, 04 Dec 2012 01:51:24 -0500

I’ve been thinking more and more about the way I dress and my gender. I would like to say that I’m pretty comfortable with how I dress. Simple t-shirt and jeans, yep. Sometimes I feel like dressing a little girly to get reactions but I never get them so I kinda feel like giving up on that aspect. I would like to dress a little more boyish. They have really cool shit and I just feel more comfortable about myself dressing that way.

I know it’s a stupid thing to say, someone basing their feelings about you on looks, but I feel like it’s a concern. All these girly girl friends I know and media and the girls my guy friends enjoy talking about. It just, really sends a blow in me. I thought about maybe transgendering into a boy (if that’s how you say it) but I don’t know if I want to. I still like guys…even though I have a female crush, at the moment. Then I start thinking about if I do end up doing that…will there be a guy that accepts me for choosing to do that?

Will I find one that will like me if I choose to do that? Should a teenager should even be thinking about having such thoughts of loneliness and of relationships? ‘It’s the time of your life’. It gets harder to believe more and more everyday.

I'm Sorry, Emma

Tue, 04 Dec 2012 01:10:21 -0500

What a shitty Monday it’s been.

My school day was actually pretty nice. I wore my space/galaxy pants and got a lot of nice comments about them. Even from the girl in my Art class that I think is super cute and adorable and, ahhh (same-sex crushes. oh snap). Though I did get one negative comment. I figured it would happen so I wasn’t too bothered when it actually DID happen.

I was pretty apprehensive about going to Art today. We’re doing a surprise flash mob and we practiced. I was getting nervous about doing it with in front of people since I’m generally shy and unconfident and a self-esteem that loves to stay in the negatives but I found that I didn’t really care. I guess I’m getting to the point where I’m not particularly caring about what people my age say because they’re all children and will grow-up (I hope) eventually. It’s about time too.

C Programming was still frustrating. Still couldn’t figure out the last step in the program even though she explained it. Though she fixed something towards the end of class. I’ll have to try that tomorrow and see if it works.

And here comes the part that starts off my shitty Monday. School has ended and I’m starting to leave. I’m backing out of my parking spot slowly, doing my best to watch out for children and cars. I see the car across from me starting to back as well so I go to slow down. They pull out too fast and end up hitting me. Talk about a mood killer. I was mad and panicking. After discussing it with my parents and a few texts back and forth it was decided that no claim would be filed. So, yay, nothing bad happened and problem was solved.

I spent the rest of the evening resting from the migraine I gained from the whole situation.

Then here comes the whole situation of the night comes along. I was already feeling pretty down. The usual body image/intelligence shit I depress myself over. I started talking about manners with some friends and my views on them and mine, etc. One of my friends, who I’ve been having a lot of issues with lately, said something that made my feelings escalate. I left the chat the cool off but soon joined quickly so as to not anger the person who upset me for being upset. Didn’t work out. They left. I tried texting and apologizing but they won’t respond. Now I’m just sitting cry and trying not to.

It sucks. It really does. I enjoy being their friend when a situation like that doesn’t happen. I’m really grateful to have met them but I feel like I’m going to lose them soon. I’m half-way trying to come to terms with that and half-way not wanting to give up on them. It’s getting so hard to do the latter but I feel like I’m just going to cry hard tonight. Try my best to suck it up, get through another day, and hope it doesn’t happen again ever or at least for a while…if they talk to me again that is…

oh man

Sun, 26 Aug 2012 20:57:12 -0400

I forgot to mention how I’m feeling a bit better from pitying self. I don’t feel a lot of improvement but at least I’m crying. Though I’ve been having trouble eating…I know it’s because of the way I’ve been feeling but even if I make something I just haven’t felt like eating it. I ate a few pizza rolls so maybe that’ll last me.

Hopefully going back to school will help me get at least two meals into me.

Crossdressing, I suppose

Sun, 26 Aug 2012 20:45:14 -0400

HI! I’m actually updating. Just rambling about the stuff I thought about today.

It’s also been sorta in the back of my mind, especially recently. I’ve only really thought about it today but not much. It crossed my mind when I was putting clothes on today to wash my car and eventually go get groceries. I realized I feel more comfortable dressing ‘boyish’ than being in girly outfits. I’ve lately come to terms that, yeah, every once in a while I feel like dressing cute just because I can but I just feel a lot better when I’m dressing in something like khaki shorts and t-shirt. I enjoy the styles for men more than styles for women. I always feel spiffy when I dress ‘boyish’.

I dunno, I feel like it’s something I need to experiment with whenever I go shopping. Though I don’t won’t to say that I’m going to eventually identify as a boy. That’s not where I’m going here. I’m just thinking about dressing differently to make me feel more comfortable with myself. If identify as a boy eventually, cool, I guess. Whatever floats my boat but right now I feel like girlish isn’t my thing.

Maybe it’s because of my shitty self-esteem or something. But. Yeah. Ramble over.

fifty-shades-of-jay: Fall Out Boy - Yule Shoot Your Eye Out

Sat, 25 Aug 2012 17:33:27 -0400

fifty-shades-of-jay:

Fall Out Boy - Yule Shoot Your Eye Out

School Shit

Sat, 25 Aug 2012 15:56:11 -0400

It’s been a while since I’ve updated. Not particularly fond of updating something like this. Or more like it’s hard for me. Since I’m a lazy, unmotivated person. Hah.

Anyways, school started for me Monday! I always find school an extremely stressful time of year for me. I have a hard time wanting to work hard on my grades because I feel inadequate compared to everyone else, my friends especially. I honestly don’t try as hard in school as I could. I’m always just doing stuff that taps at my limits but never goes over them when I’m always told to try and go over my limit. So I always feel like crap for just doing what I know I can do instead of trying to test myself.

It was my first week at a new school though. I didn’t move cities or anything. My town just finally decided that they needed another high school. The only thing I really have to complain about is the lunchroom. It should have been bigger. I expected it to be bigger. There should be more than ONE LINE. LIKE REALLY? Then how you have to tell the lunch ladies what you want (out of five different choices) which makes the line go SUPER SLOW.

Other than that, I’m pretty ok with it. We’ve needed to get more books and desks because every room only has 30 desks and books or no books at all. My C Programming class has been especially frustrating in that department. I think more frustrating for my teacher but still frustrating. We didn’t even get laptops until Thursday and even then we couldn’t do anything because we couldn’t get access to something. I didn’t really understand what we couldn’t get access to exactly but it has prevented us from starting our actual programming.

Another thing about my C Programming class, some of the people in there are unbearable. It’s not the entire class, just a few people that follow this one person. They’re basically just a bunch of douches but what can I say, life, high school especially, if full of douches. I should get over it but it still bothers me a lot.

Besides that stuff, school has being going alright. There has been other stuff on my mind more though. About myself and my friends.

I find myself to be more of loner. Though I can often be lonely and clingy. I feel like the loneliness and clinginess is only satisfied when I’m someone I wish to be close to. I think mostly because I find it hard to connect with someone. I want to find a best friend, someone that’s close to me and only me (minus gf/bf relationships and parental relationships) but most of the time I often find myself befriending a group of people. Everyone already knows everyone, with a usual pair being closer to each than everyone else. This often makes me feel like I’m an intruder so I’ll pull myself back and be a floater that could possibly leave anytime.

Sometimes I really wish I could talk about this to someone sometimes. It really brings me down. Not to mention my lack of self-esteem so I’ll often self-pity myself over it. Lately I’ve picked up the habit of telling myself how stupid and worthless I am. Haha…I sometimes try to say something positive but my pessimistic/realistic side always gets in the way. It’s like it beats up the optimistic side of me all the time to where it’s hovering in the cover rambling crazily at itself denying what just happen.

Siiiiggghhh. I needed to write this out. I think I’m done for now.

Sudden Shift

Fri, 27 Jul 2012 23:24:02 -0400

So, lately, I’ve been a bit depressed this week. It’s about my whole ex-boyfriend situation. I broke up with him in March but I was still feeling pretty upset about it, even to the point where I decided not to eat much for a day. The only reason I ate anything that day was because I hate the feeling of being super tired when you haven’t had anything. I ended up contacting a ~wonderful~ aneue and talked to her about it. She basically gave me a slap in the face (the good kind) and made me realize some things and I felt SO much better.

Now I’m a bit sad again though. Lately, I’ve come to realize that my ex-boyfriend and I just can’t continue being friends anymore. Us breaking up pretty severed any form of connection that we had. It wasn’t that I disliked him or anything like that. It was just a situation where when a couple breaks up the have a hard time keeping any form of a relationship together. My ex-boyfriend actually contacted me today asking about how I don’t really want to talk to him and I explained everything. Though he believed that I simply didn’t like him anymore, not true. I just couldn’t bring myself to feel any connection and I just felt like I was pushing myself whenever I talked to him. We just didn’t connect like we used to.

The conversation near the end made me terribly sad. He told me that even though I didn’t want to talk to him anymore that he still loved me. Ow. Just ow. I’ve been bawling over my regret and I finally get it off my chest and he still tells me he has feelings for me. Ugh. Smash my head against a wall or something, please.

In other news, my mom told me at the last minute yesterday that she was going to go to a concert and that my cousin was coming over. She’s the same age as me as so my mom asked me to hang out with her since you had to be 18 to go to the concert. I didn’t last very long after they left though. I ended up staying up all day on one hour of sleep because my mom wanted me to clean my room and I couldn’t find time to nap.They left around 6 and I went to bed around an hour to a half after that. I just couldn’t stay up. I felt bad for leaving my cousin alone but what can you do.

Also, apparently my mom is super mad at my cousin’s mom now. She apparently brought in people we didn’t know in our house while my mom still wasn’t home and lied about a lot of things (talk about being a dick). So I don’t think I’ll see much of my cousin anymore.

Pretty much it. I don’t feel like reviewing what I typed so sorry if anything’s wrong.

Olympics? Interesting.

Nervousness

Thu, 12 Jul 2012 21:12:26 -0400

Yo, sup.

I’m feeling really nervous about my Driver’s Ed test tomorrow. I’ve been doing better, especially since my brother took me out for about an hour and half drive in all the conditions I was in. I think that helped me out a lot but I missed a day because my teacher had somewhere to go and apparently heabsolutelyhad to go. Our test is going to be at Bridge Street, which is a place that can get super busy and full of traffic. I wanted to practice driving there today but no one was able to go with me. So now I feel unprepared and I feel like my parents are expecting me to get it because everyone says it’s super easy but I only got about five days worth of practice for about less than thirty minutes each for the hour I was there. That’s not a lot of practicing. I feel like my parents will look down on me or think something’s wrong if I don’t because it’s Driver’s Ed and, ya’know, it’s supposed to teach me how to drive.

Honestly it’s just a BS class and my teacher is really harsh. I hope I’m able to catch a break and be lucky tomorrow. Ack.

Also, my finger is inflamed because I pulled a loose piece of skin off of it and it’s becoming really bothersome.

I hope you all are having better luck than I am.

new theme. hope you like it.

Thu, 12 Jul 2012 20:58:30 -0400

new theme. hope you like it.

Guilty Crown Feels

Wed, 11 Jul 2012 15:54:02 -0400

I just finished watching Guilty Crown because of this cover and I’m left speechless. I don’t think I’ve ever cried over an anime so much in my life. I don’t care how anyone degrades it in my mind is has to be one of the best animes I’ve seen because through everything, absolutely everything Shu didn’t give up on his hope on saving Inori. Love stories have been rehashed and recreated since stories have been told. I’ve actually been feeling apathetic towards everything that had a couple in it (except yaoi for..uh..purposes) and have been becoming sick of everything involving love. Even the season 2 finale of MLP wasn’t exactly that respark of what I used to have when I saw a love story as amazing as it was.

I wasn’t even crying at the ending. I had started crying about halfway through because of all the scenes that were happening. All the sacrifices Shu was making for everyone. Souta’s and Shu’s make-up (even though it wasn’t in the last episode) and everyone’s determination to back Shu up in his chase for Inori. It was just so heart-warming and to save the world. Then when Shu was about to give up but at the last second saw the flower Inori left and…then the part that choked me the most through out anything was when Shu absorbed the world’s cancer. I just…I could hardly see what was going because of how much I was crying because through all the lies and deceit he received from his friend he still cared and he was still determined to save them.

Then the saddest moment of all when Inori gave her life for Shu (?). It made me so heartbroken that she wouldn’t be able to live out her life with him. Then I continued crying at the end when they were all meeting and then Funnell’s adorable little robot babies. Just. Agh. I can’t….stop crying. ;~;

And then the music. The music is so wonderful. I have to give props to supercell and the other composer(s). The lyrics written for the songs are just so wonderful and only enhance my feelings towards the anime, especially Euterpe and My Dearest. All the songs supercell has done for this anime is making me take another look at them and is making me appreciate their work more. I mean, their song ‘Love is War’ got me into VOCALOID so I should be in debt to them, right?

Ahh, if I could just meet the creator of Guilty Crown and supercell to tell them how grateful I am. ;~;

The Weekly Release (not really)

Tue, 10 Jul 2012 19:19:00 -0400

Hey, I’m just here to blow off steam. I’ve been meaning to update with rants but I’m lazy.

Right now I’m feeling really frustrated and I just want to blow off this steam. So, I started my period. My back is hurting like shit and I shouldn’t be hunched over like I am but I am. It’s gotten better since yesterday though. So, as always, I’m running low on pads so I asked my mom if I could drive to the store, I wanted to practice driving as well as get pads. She said she wanted to wait a little bit because of her headache. I was ok with it. I understand headaches since I tend to get migraines.

An hour or so passes and I go downstairs to ask again. She’s painting the frame of a mirror. I just kinda hover over her for a bit, feeling nervous and kicking myself mentally over it because I’m trying to get over being that way when I’m asking her something. I hate asking her something twice. This was something I needed though, not just some random bag of candy I had decided to crave and my period wasn’t going to stop just because I ran out of pad. I suck in my breath and make my voice low and ask her when we can go.

Then here it comes.

It wasn’t the words that I was scared of hearing. It was her tone. She always becomes irritated when I ask her a second question. It’s like I’m a pest. She’s tells me she doesn’t know and I just walk away and I planned to walk to the store an hour later. I did.

It was getting windy and the clouds were dark so I took a jacket. I lost that jacket. It makes me mad but I didn’t really care. It’s summer and I was too exhausted by the time I realized it to try and go find it.

I’m also a little frustrated about Driver’s Ed because my parents won’t let me drive because they’re too busy doing shit. It’s like they expect me to learn how to drive in Driver’s Ed, which is complete bull because the class is half full of shit.

I am just feeling emotionally drained right now, most likely because of period shit. I really just want to get this week over with.

Looped Vision (A dream I had last night)

Sat, 23 Jun 2012 12:34:17 -0400

I know I’m on vacation but I had this dream last night and I enjoyed it so much that I had to write it down.

The dream started out with me and a guy named Kieramache (something similar. The name is closely similar to a YouTuber I follow. I thought that was strange.) wondering through the woods. We had to escape from something, though I can’t remember what if I even knew. We had to find a place to hide out. We eventually found this house that looked abandoned but it actually wasn’t. An old lady was sitting out front in a rocking chair and when she noticed us she cursed at us for thinking otherwise. She was generous enough to let us inside though. The look on the outside didn’t lie, the place was a mess.

When I first stepped in I met this little girl hovering at the front door. I felt like she was somehow connected to my past and that I had to help protect her. I eventually learned that something was after her as well, a wolf-like creature that roamed the forest, but the old lady that was looking after the child had created some kind of shield with the house so it couldn’t get in.

I actually was able to see what the creature looked like. It was a large-muscled man that crawled around on all fours with red-eyes and sharp teeth. I knew that wasn’t its true form but it was the form it could only take when it was closest to the house. I had ended up in a back room of the house with the little girl because she was scared even though she was safe. I was eventually able to calm her down after several games we played and a few hours later I learned that Kieramache had went after the creature that was after the girl.

I believe at this point I came to realize (not in the dream) that he was some sort of tracker. It switched over to him and it showed him running across a wide, flat terrain with this almost goofy grin on his face. Maybe it was to prove to himself that he wasn’t scared but I felt he was. Then this song started playing and for the life of me I can’t remember it but it was a good song so I wish I did. It felt an ending to an anime but it also felt like he was singing it as well. It was a strong song but it was also an emotional one too.

Then it switched back to me outside of the stream sitting at a computer but I was still in the abandoned house. I then got a phone call and the contact was Kieramache. I guess he had pestered me enough to where I bothered to save his number because I found him interesting enough. I answered it and it somehow transferred over to a Skype call and he started singing the song. I did too because I liked it but I haven’t learned it yet so I was off a bit.

So, that’s how the dream ended. The title for it is a prototype. It might change.

Announcement

Thu, 21 Jun 2012 17:58:56 -0400

nebulasresolution:

Tomorrow will be the beginning of my vacation. I will most likely not be back until late Saturday or Sunday so I will not post until then.

Hope you don’t miss me too much! Haha. :)

This was about 2-3 days ago but reblogging so everyone knows why I’m not around.

Sigh

Sat, 16 Jun 2012 12:56:43 -0400

I was going to make a post a few days ago but I’ve been lazy. It seems that things are getting a bit hectic so now I definitely want to post to let my frustrations out.

The first thing I would like to talk about is my parents. They’ve divorced and are both remarried. Lately, I’ve noticed my mom and my step-dad are having issues. It feels like it has cooled down a bit though. I planned to go to my dad’s for a few weeks since I haven’t spent time with him and I need to because of his health. I also thought that it would be nice to get away from my mom’s house to leave the atmosphere but it seems I’ve just walked into a similar situation.

Today when I was contemplating on taking a shower I heard my step-mom explode. I, at first, thought it was her yelling at my oldest little sister since she has quite the attitude but as time I wondered if she was even home. It didn’t feel like that was the one she was yelling at anyways. I waited it out a few minutes and walked out with clothes to shower. My step-mom was sitting in the hallway and she was grumbling about my dad. Something about cursing and him sitting in the truck or something. So I assumed they had a fight and my dad was contemplating leaving for a bit or something like that.

When I got in the shower I turned on the fan to drown out the noise because I honestly didn’t want to get involved with it. I felt like if I did my step-mom would say something harsh to me and I don’t want to deal with anything like that before we go on vacation. I feel like the vacation is going to be a bad idea. We’re all going to be crowded together and if something happens it’s going to be obvious and in enclosed spaces it could possibly get worse. I’m starting to feel really tired now, thinking about all this, and I still have more I wish to talk about.

I guess, for the moment, I’ll stop with just this subject because it sucks that instead of having one couple fight, you have two…

Title: 迷子のエコー (Echo of a Lost Child)Arranger: ShibayanLyrics:...

Wed, 30 May 2012 22:44:12 -0400

Title: 迷子のエコー (Echo of a Lost Child)
Arranger: Shibayan
Lyrics: 深水チエ (Chie Fukami)
Vocals: 3L
Album: TOHO BOSSA NOVA
Circle: ShibayanRecords
Release date: May, 27th 2012 (Reitaisai 9)
Website: http://homepage3.nifty.com/shibayan/stal1201/

Original: ハルトマンの妖怪少女／ Hartmann’s Youkai Girl
「東方地霊殿～ Subterranean Animism, Koishi Komeiji’s theme」

Picture artist: kirero
http://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=20342215

———-

This album is really good and I’ve listened to this song so much. Goodness. <3

Oh, hi new followers

Wed, 30 May 2012 22:38:29 -0400

I didn’t realize I would actually gain followers, haha. ;;

Well, since I’ve been so absent I’ll do a recap of the things I’ve done for the best few days while I watch America’s Got Talent. uvu

Ok, so last week I had two events, a pool party and a birthday party.

The pool party was super fun for me and I actually shaved for it, haha. Though not all of my legs but most. When everyone got there we threw balls at each for a good hour or so. I was screaming my head off. There one thing you wouldn’t guess about me and that is for me to be a screamer but I can be if I’m doing something crazy like throwing balls at each other. I get caught up in the excitement and I just can’t stop myself! During the throwing fest my friends complimented me because apparently I was catching the balls real well and they said I should play sports. It made me feel good.

Later on after had food, my friends and I fought over this raft for no reason. It was a boys vs. girls kind of fight. Once more, I continued my yelling spree and even though the boys kept winning it was so much fun to do. I was exhausted though when I got home so I pretty much went straight to sleep.

The next part, the sleep over. It was a mixtures of feelings but I would like to say that over all I had fun. We played this trivia game that I pretty much sucked at because it was things like hot celebrities or characters from shows. I don’t know shit about anything like that and I didn’t really care but my friends made me become irritated about it. They were like, “Come on, you must know at least one thing.” No, I don’t. I don’t watch movies, shows, or read a whole lot. I’m a music person. Not American music but foreign music. Why should I know much about things outside of my interests ?

We ended up staying up until four talking and during the talk we created our genderbent self. If some of you don’t know, my name is Brittany. So, I became Bret, the super nerd who’s not afraid to show it. I wear graphic tees and khakis and I’m also obsessed with shoes. I thought that was fun.

Also, I had a friend come over to spend the night since I am getting my wisdom teeth taken out tomorrow and I’m most likely going to my dad’s afterwards. I’m really nervous. ;; I hope I’m not in too much pain but I have a feeling I will be.

Also, my dad was being a wee bit of an annoyance in concerning all this. First of all, he said he was going to come. I don’t understand his need to. My mom is going to be there. Then he also asked if I wanted to go to his house for my recovery. No. No. Just no. It made me so irritated. Why would I want to be driven almost two hours after my surgery to rest? I’d rather just stay at my mom’s.

One last day before I’m finished…my ex-boyfriend is still bugging me. It’s not him, it’s just I’m still thinking about things. He started being really affectionate to me and it made me really uncomfortable. I ended up having to tell him to please stop being that way (Note: he was calling me ‘my love’ and saying I’m cute and that I’m an amazing person). It just got waaay past my comfort zone because I’m still thinking everything over. I’m still unsure and I still feel really bad about everything that something like that…it just makes me want to cry.

Oh, jeez, I’ve made myself cry now. ;; I was contemplating on whether to even talk about it because I’m tired of crying about it. I honestly just want to be over this already. ;;

Well, good night everyone, wish me luck with my wisdom teeth surgery.

Out-of-this-world superstar dad and my step-brother needs help!

Fri, 25 May 2012 11:19:04 -0400

Hello, it’s been a while since I posted here but I had these really weird dreams and I wanted to write it down. Yes, it is related to the title as well. I can’t remember much but I’ll try to go in order.

The first thing I remember is being at a beach, the stars, a boat, and an old Asian man. I felt like something was off, like I wasn’t supposed to be there. I felt like it was forbidden for me to be there but the man helped me anyways. I soon was able to mix in with the populace and become a student somehow. I was soon figured out by some faculty of the school but the thing is, no one else became disgusted with me or hated me after it came out that I wasn’t natively from there, where ever I was, only the faculty member was.

Despite the lack of hatred it seems that I was going to be sent away. The last thing I remember was sitting next to a little girl eating meat and veggies out little round, metal containers, a boy sitting across from her, and then a slightly older boy sitting next to the other boy. The older boy seemed to be pouting. Then the caretaker(because he seemed too old to be a dad)/dad came in, who was a super blonde superstar, and scooped him up, which made him a bit happier.

That’s end of that dream.

———

Here’s the beginning of my other dream.

I was at an apartment complex with my brother. I believe we were moving things around when suddenly these guys show up and start messing with him. Then this machine appeared and started taking our equipment (construction stuff for whatever reason). I felt like I tried to interject and that I might have gotten hurt somehow ?? Anyways, once I interjected I knew I needed to get to my phone that I had dropped somewhere to call the police, however much help that might provide. So I was running, and I nearly didn’t make it because the people messing with us had a car and they were driving towards my phone but I got it! I called the police and that was the end. uvu

A rant of sorts...

Wed, 16 May 2012 20:53:40 -0400

This is something I’ve kinda been thinking about and I’ve seen discussions about it on tumblr a lot.

Gender

That’s what it is. Why am I calling this a rant post? Well, I’m not quite sure if it’ll become one but gender makes me pretty frustrated. Especially when it comes to the idea of which gender someone is. My general line of thought is that if they choose to dress in the typical way a certain gender does that they’ll be called using pronouns of that said gender, no matter how they act, I guess.

But then I saw this one post on tumblr that just blew that out of the water. This guy took a picture of himself in a skirt, tank-top and bra and the post continued to say that even if they dress as the stereotypical girl they shouldn’t be classified as a girl unless they say otherwise. It makes me feel really confused.

How am I suppose to address someone if the idea of gender doesn’t identify with body parts, dress styles, and mannerisms? Am I going to get yelled if I call someone who I believe to be a male but in their mind identifies as female? If this idea of gender where we no longer have to go by mannerisms/looks then how are we suppose to address people? Will we learn to read minds?

How do I address people?